Jailbait in Hotpants

Damien and Supergirl?

2010-12-25T01:09:00.008-06:00

This is from Superman/Batman 77. The Dick!Batman and Damien!Robin relationship is starting to grow on me. I thought Damien was really annoying at first, but I've come to like him and Dick's dynamic. I hope I still enjoy the characters now that Bruce is back in the cowl. We'll just have to wait and see. For now, enjoy a little teasing at Damien's expense.

From Jailbait in Hotpants

Yay! I think I've figured out how to direct link the images again so you don't have to click an obnoxious text link! It'll take me a while to go back and do older posts though, so be patient!

Kid Kyle

2010-11-22T13:23:00.005-06:00

The next few posts are going to be from Young Justice: Sins of Youth. It's a cute 12 part story in which the Justice League become teenagers, the JSA become kids, and Young Justice become adults. The original members of the Teen Titans are unaffected. This all happens to help the adults better understand the teen superheroes whom had been getting a bad rap recently. It's full of hilarity and I highly recommend taking a look. All of my posts are going to be from Young Justice - Sins of Youth #4.

Kyle Rayner is fun to watch in this series. His Green Lantern costume changes every panel you see him. It's done well and I didn't even notice it at first. It's a fun way of showing how his personality manifests as a teenager. Unfortunately for him, the rest of the Justice League doesn't think it's that big of a change. Poor Kyle.

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Buttlering

2010-11-10T23:44:00.003-06:00

I love it when Alfred makes fun of Bruce in that totally sincere buttlery way of his. It's very Jeeves and Wooster..... if Wooster were a bad-ass-slightly-crazy vigilante rather than charmingly incompetent.

This is from Superman Batman Annual #1

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Bat Hamlet

2010-11-07T22:36:00.003-06:00

This is from Batman 982. In a flashback-ish thing, DG Robin is telling Batman that Alfred is having him read Hamlet and how it made him wonder what would have happened if Hamlet had dressed as Batman to get revenge. The result is this one panel of hilarity that I call Bat!Hamlet!

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Plastic Man is concerned

2010-10-17T16:19:00.003-05:00

I love reading crossovers and team-ups. Why? Because seeing heroes interact with each other and respond to crazy hijinks usually leads to a good time. You also get insights into characters that you wouldn't in their solo titles because the commentary is coming from characters that they don't usually interact with. Todays hilarious example of this comes from "Formerly Known as the Justice League #06". The entire book is hilarious in of itself, and the Supper Buddies are quite an amusing hero team. But the gem that I pulled out is from when the Justice League comes in to help save the Supper Buddies from a huge mess they've gotten themselves into. The real treat on this page is the bottom right hand corner, but it's made funnier by reading the whole thing. Enjoy!

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Communication FAIL

2010-09-30T00:50:00.004-05:00

I recently read "Not Just The Justice League" and plan on doing a few posts from that as soon as I can scan some of the pages in. In the meantime, enjoy more Teen Titans!

Today's post comes from Teen Titans Year One #6. Batman is terrible at communicating his feelings, and we all laugh at his ineptitude.

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Damn

2010-06-13T18:37:00.001-05:00

Really, that's all I have to say. Damn.

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Even superheroes go through puberty

2010-06-12T00:12:00.001-05:00

Poor Wally. If being a superhero weren't tough enough, you also have to deal with zits.

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I think his face when he discovers the zit is priceless. Another thing teen heroes have to deal with.... mothers!

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From Teen Titans Year One #5.

Beware the Chibis!

2010-06-11T00:16:00.004-05:00

Today's post is from Superman/Batman 51..... and it's a doozy. If I were you, I'd look at these first two images, and then come back and read the rest of this post. Because otherwise you might be too afraid to.

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Fullfiew Link.

That's right, in this particular issue, Superman and Batman are confronted with a chibi Justice League. And if that weren't bad enough, they really are supper innocent and.... well..... child-friendly. Just check out the origin stories of Chibi Supes and Bats.

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I don't even know what to say to that. "Two shoves, and nothing was the same again." Also, sending Superman away so he wouldn't get rained on..... I think I echo Alfred's feelings on this one.

I feel that this is the inevitable result of the slipery slope that things like "Superhero Squad" and "Batman: The Brave and the Bold" have set us on. SAVE OUR HEROES FROM CHIBIFICATION!

On a completely random note, I also made a motivational poster featuring Robin and his adoring fangirls.

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So in conclusion, thank you Michael Green and Mike Johnson for writing this hilarious hilarious atrocity. It made my day.

Lame

2010-06-09T22:11:00.007-05:00

I am sure many of us have frequently echoed the sentiments of young Robin here. I'm just glad someone in cannon finally said it.

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From Robin Year One vol 2.

She's got everyone's number

2010-06-09T13:37:00.005-05:00

With all the Superman saves and the horrible Lois Lane comic book series back in the day, sometimes it's easy to forget that Lois Lane is a b.a.m.f. For serious. Nothing demonstrates it better than her role in the New Krypton plot arcs where she's going to report the truth in spite of death threats and her own father being at the forefront of the anti-Kryptonian agenda. Also, woman is like Batman when it comes to finding shit out about people. For serious. This page from Action Comics 887 has a great Lois line that sums it all up.

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Code Black

2010-06-08T00:24:00.012-05:00

Woah! Long time no post! Been a bit busy, but I'm finally catching up with my comic book reading. And you know what that means? More hilarity for you! The reader!

Today's excerpt is from Superman/Batman #72.

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I just love that Lexcorp has a code for "Oh Shit, Batman's in Metropolis" and that they have a special protocol for it. Lex doesn't take shit from a superpowered alien, but he's clearly afraid of a dude in a bat suit finding out about any of his ops so much so that he shuts them all down down.

Not that Batman's just any dude in a bat suit. He's one b.a.m.f. But still....

[edit] I'm having trouble with Blogger's images. It used to let me upload them full size and then just post thumbnails, but it's not anymore. hrm..... So I'm including a thumbnail and then a txt link to the fullview image below. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Trinity Monologue

2010-03-16T20:53:00.001-05:00

This is the text for the first 10 pages or so of the comic "Trinity" which details Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman's first team-up. When I first read this, I thought, "Wow, I'd love to see this read as a monologue. It would be really interesting." So I copied it down in the hopes that there might be an opportunity at Grinnell, which there wasn't. So now I'm sharing it with all of you, and maybe one of you will be inspired to perform it. If so, let me know! I'd love to come watch! Also, just let me know what you think. I'd love to hear someone else's thoughts on this piece, especially since I've got it in prose form here, but not in the context of the pictures.

Trinity by Matt Wagner

Opening monologue

Metropolis... where the trains always run on time. I try to miss one at least three times a week. Good for the image. Aboard the train, the regulars all chuckle at the guy they've dubbed “terminally late.” I fight the urge to listen any further. Which is really the hardest power to resist. Far easier to avert one's gaze. Not peek into everything. So much harder not to listen. But try as I might, there's one sound I can never block out.

It takes precious moments to locate the target. Amid the cacophony of city sounds, I listen hard for what seems out of order. The train gathers speed as it thunders over third avenue. The driver's been shot.

Ahead, a sharp curve. Much too fast. Never make the turn. Now, of course, I hear every frightened gasp, every stuttering scream. The train's momentum is enormous. Hope this works.

There's really no handbook for how to deal with such situations. Try to pull its lurching mass into the curve.

Didn't work.

Shrieking metal drowns out the passengers. Must...catch...that... train.

As always, one thought drives me onward. Compels both my crusade and masquerade. The idea that disaster can be averted. Holy cow this is heavy!

The passengers are shaken, but alive. Rescue teams can handle it now. The shot's trajectory leads, here. But the sniper's long gone. Without a trace. “Faster than a speeding bullet?” Not this time.

The Power of Powergirl

2009-09-20T23:34:00.003-05:00

Today's gem comes from Superman & Batman 49. Supes and Bats had to get this tech-wiz Japanese kid (aka the new good-guy toyman) to help them clean up kryptonite dust from the atmostphere so Superman could, ya know, live on Earth and all. And what did he ask for in return? A date with Powergirl. Lolz.
For those of you who don't recall, the movie Bruce's going to see in the first page is the one they were making way back here: To The Mooooooon!

Let the Kryptonian Win

2009-08-31T10:58:00.002-05:00

In this gem from Justice League Unlimited 19, Booster Gold was whining about how Superman always wins at poker. Superman then proceeds to be full of awesome and general ass-kickery in a fight with the big bad guys following which Booster Gold learns a valuable lesson.
You ALWAYS let the ridiculously superpowered Krypotnian win. I'm also highly amused by the implication that Superman might just not take that hit for you if you beat him. Who knew Superman was such a poor looser? Oh yea, these guys.

Green Lantern Graffiti

2009-08-21T12:06:00.002-05:00

Today's humorous moment comes from JLU 32. Now, the majority of this issue told me one thing: Guy Gardner is a whiny annoying little know-it all punk who needs to grow up badly. Now, to be fair, this is not main series cannon, so for all I know, he could be completely different in the main comics. But as it stands now, Guy Gardner can die in a hole - John Stewart and Kyle Rayner are the lanterns for me!

But, he did do one thing that endeared him to me slightly. And that is using his ring to graffiti on the walls of Darkseid's pallace. Why? For funsies. And seriously, pissing off a being of that kind of power in such a juvinile and hillarious way deserves major props.

Richie Rich

2009-08-14T00:07:00.004-05:00

Some days I wonder, could there be a Batman without Bruce being ridiculously wealthy? Then I see moments like this and realize, no, there really couldn't. And if there were, he wouldn't be nearly as awesome.

Scan from Superman/Batman #48.

Lois Almost Figures it Out

2009-08-12T13:02:00.000-05:00

As promised, today's hilarious moment is from the tail end of Superman/Batman Annual 1. I would say there are spoilers.... but really, the issue has so much randomness that you'd have to try really hard to spoil anything. That and I'm not sure this issue is official DC cannon anyway. At any rate, on to hilarity!
Poor Lois. You would have figured it out if it weren't for those pesky superpowers! I almost feel bad for Bruce getting a superspeed costume change, but then I feel more bad for us readers that we didn't get to see it. How many of you want to bet that Supes copped a feel at Mach 4? And Bruce isn't really objecting. More stating the obvious. Worlds' greatest detective that one.

Awkward Hilarity

2009-08-11T14:54:00.000-05:00

So, today's post is going to be a two parter with tomorrow's post. Both funny moments come from the Superman/Batman Annual 1. This chronicles Superman and Batman's first team up/ meeting each others' secret identities for the first time. I don't think this particular issue is cannon, but it's pretty hilarious anyway. Really, the entire issue is full of awesome comedic gold and random silly bizzare crack, which made it difficult to pick just one moment to share. So I picked two! One from the beginning, and one from the end (the end one you'll see tomorrow).
Oh Clark and Brucie, your awkward bro-we're-totally-straight-manly-men bed sharing moment is truly amusing. Especially since we all know you totally have the hots for each other. Fanfiction never lies right? But what's even more hilarious is the whole "how do I get the other guy to leave so I can secretly put on my spendex to do some super heroics" bit. I love how Bruce is eventually like "fuck this shit, tranqulizers time!" The realization of identities followed by property destruction just seals the deal for me. What a great issue.

Deadly Disco

2009-08-10T13:30:00.000-05:00

This has got to be one of the best combinations of the green lantern ring and kryptonite I have ever seen. And they say John Stewart* isn't creative with his power ring! Bah!

Scan from Justice League Unlimited 34

* I am of course talking about the TV series John Stewart who was a marine and not comic John Stewart who was an architect.

Space cabby!?

2009-08-09T15:49:00.000-05:00

Really, I can't think of any funny comments for this one. It just says it all by itself.

Scan from Justice League Unlimited 18.

Nightwing's Mullet

2009-08-08T14:30:00.000-05:00

So, as some of you may know, I just recently started reading the Nighwing comics. And I must say, that first issue was like a time machine back to the late 80s early 90s in regards to fashion. The biggest example of this is in how they drew Dick Grayson himself. Big, muscular, harry arms, and with a mullet!
But this isn't just any mullet folks. Oh no, this is a magic mullet that within seconds can become a super sleek and sexy ponytail in a matter of seconds when Dicky transforms into Nightwing!
Maybe being able to apply large amounts of hair gel in a short amount of time is his superpower? Anyway, the ponytail gets cut off fairly quickly by a bad guy, so the mullet is unceremoniously discarded into the annals of history where it belongs. Besides, what was Nightwing doing with long hair anyway when his specialty is hand to had combat? tsk tsk

Pros and Cons

2009-08-06T23:58:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I had a crazy long commission for Grinnell College to work on. Anywhoo, this particular piece of amusement comes from Superman Birthright #6. Perry White is contemplating the pros and cons for firing Lois Lane. It equals about two seconds of comedic gold and really helps solidify and define Lois' character in a fun and unique way.
I especially like #5. Hilarity.

Battle for the Cowl - Review

2009-07-29T18:25:00.000-05:00

Fist off, SPOILER ALERT! If you haven't read Battle for the Cowl or Batman and Robin No. 1 and do not want the ending spoiled for you, then do not read any further! Just turn around and go read Cakewrecks or something.

So, I've been putting off posting about the Battle for the Cowl comics. I finished reading them and Batman and Robin No. 1 almost a week ago. The reason for my delay in posting? To be honest, I'm torn.

To begin with, I was completely unsurprised, which is both a good thing and a bad thing. Dick Grayson was the logical choice to become the new Batman. He was the first Robin, and is an exceptional athlete and well respected by the Superhero community. That being said, I was a bit sad they went with him. I felt Tim Drake would have been a more daring direction, especially if they took their cues from Batman Beyond as to how to deal with a teenage Batman (even though it was a typo, an issue of Superman/Batman did show us a future Batman that looked like Batman Beyond being called "Tim" over the intercom). I also feel that it was slightly weird to have Dick Grayson go from "I want to be my own man and get out from under Batman's shadow like crazy" to "I'm gonna be Batman." They sortof explained his rationalle in Batman and Robin No. 1, and they'll probably go into more detail later, but at this point, I'm still kindof wondering how the complete 180 in reference to Dick's feelings about Batman happened.

Also, Dick being Batman will cause the character to change completely, which is both a good and bad thing. Dick Grayson, as Nightwing was a highly sociable Superhero. He lead multiple superhero teams, including the Teen Titans, and has been in so many crossovers higherups in DC have been quoted as saying that he's more important to the fabric of the DC superhero community than Superman. This is completely the opposite from Bruce's Batman who was always a loner and didn't like working in teams or with others. He especially hated others butting their noses into Gotham. So either Dick Grayson is going to have to change to fit the Batman mold, which I think will cause him to suffer as a character, or Batman is going to have to become... well.... not Batman.

I was also sad that they ousted Tim Drake as Robin. Dude was one of my favorite Robins, hands down and Damien had been characterized until this point, largely, as an obnoxious brat. Apparently, Tim will be starting a new career as Red Robin ala Dick Grayson in Kingdom Come. I hope that works out for him and they don't fuck it up. But that's also kindof weird considering fromt he get go Tim was adamant about not staying Robin forever. I suppose he's too interesting and well liked of a character to let retire, but still, it (like Dick's decision to become batman) seems incongrous with what we've seen from his character thus far. That being said, I'm personally glad he's going to continue on with the superheroics since he's a fav of mine.

In regards to the event as a whole, I have even more mixed feelings...

One the one hand, I feel this event couldn't have been more poorly timed, especially with who they chose as the new Robin. With the semi-recent success of the Chris Nolan Batman movies, a lot of potential new readers are going to be coming to the comics expecting Bruce Wayne, and they're not going to find him and be very confused. They might have heard of Dick Grayson if they saw the earlier Batman movies and/or any animated incarnation of Batman ever. But they'll NEVER have heard of Damien unless they read the comics. If they'd seen Batman TAS, they would have known who Tim Drake was, but no, DC decided to make the new Robin someone who no one who wasn't an existing comic reader would know about. Well done there.

On the other hand, perhaps this is the perfect time to start over. As a new reader myself, the one road block I've come up time and time again is where to start. The last big restart was in the 80s, and there have been over 600 volumes of Batman since then. Hence the reason I've been sticking to oneshot stories like Superman: Birthright, The Dark Knight Returns etc or more recent serials such as Nightwing and Superman/Batman. So with that in mind, starting a new Batman and Robin comic with issue one might be a good idea. It's a clean starting point for new readers to launch from, and all it requires is being willing to read Wikipedia for a few hours to figure out who everyone is and what's happened recently in the DC universe that the characters are reacting to.

Those are my initial thoughts. I may have more to add later, but that's the bulk for now. I thought the art was amazing and the story arc was well done. No real complaints there. The very end was a bit rushed, but I guess they wanted to be able to put some of the aftermath into Batman and Robin. I have my doubts, but I am definately looking forward to seeing how it all works out, especially since I'm pretty sure Batman isn't dead for good. Really, what it comes down to is Nighwing is one of my favorite superheroes, and I'm sad to see him go, and I hope they don't fuck it up making him Batman.

Welcome to Jailbait in Hotpants

2009-07-29T17:13:00.001-05:00

So, I'm a new comic book fan. Though I've been reading manga since middle school, I only got into American comics within the past year. The reason? Where to begin!? When dealing with characters who have existed since the 30s, it's a bit tricky to figure out a starting point. So, most of my exposure has been through oneshots like The Dark Knight Returns and Superman Birthright. But I have started reading some serials like Superman & Batman, Nightwing, and recently Batman & Robin - mainly because these serials started recently enough that starting from the beginning is a reasonable task. I mainly read DC, mostly because I haven't found an easy entrypoint for any Marvel series yet (suggestions are welcome). I would love to read X-Men though if anyone can recommend a good starting point.

Anyway, while reading these comics, especially the Justice League Unlimited comics based on Bruce Timm's series of the same name, I came across many quite humorous, amusing, and "laugh out loud" moments. I started posting these on my personal blog, but then, inspired by my most recent post, I decided to create a separate blog dedicated to those special little moments I came across while reading. I may also, from time to time, include my thoughts on/ review the comics I read.

I hope you enjoy this little journey into the lighter side of the DC universe. Suggestions and submissions are always welcome.

The post that started it all

2009-07-29T16:28:00.000-05:00

or Why I like Dick Grayson as Nightwing better than as Batman....

Because as Batman, he has to wear a cape. And then we don't get wonderfully hot and beefcaky images like this one from Secret Six #9:

What's especially great about this pose for Nightwing, is that it's one that is traditionally reserved for female characters because you can see both T&A in it. So not only is it crazy sexy, but it's subversive too! Excellent.

And look, even Nightwing doesn't like wearing the Batman cape! He complains about it in Batman&Robin #2.

Yes, balance. I'm sure that was your reason for ditching the cape. And not at all because you needed something new to distract the bad guys with since your new costume actually had pants. Your days as jailbait in hotpants were over, but now you have a fantastically sculpted rear to display. And now it's all over. Stupid cape.

*So, this was the post that made me decide to dedicate a seperate blog to Superhero shenanigans and musings. It also inspired the title. This also marks the end of re-posts from my personal blog. Now, on to the new material!

My Girlfriend is Pregnant

2009-06-19T18:27:00.000-05:00

Today's Humorous DC Comics Moment comes from Nightwing 25. Nightwing and Robin are doing a training exercise where they go around blindfolded doing things like, jumping onto speeding train cars and then trying to balance on one leg while they talk about their lives. It is during this that Robin says the one phrase that perhaps no big brother or close family member wants to hear. Nighwing almost falls off the train. It's hilarious.In other news, I had my first day of work at Gamer's Asylum today. It went pretty well, I should say.... despite there being no customers due to torrential rains. Meh, suits me.

Pants-less Proof

2009-06-16T18:26:00.001-05:00

HAHAHA! At long last, I have definitive proof that the original Robin costume did in fact involve no-pants rather than flesh colored tights as some would have you believe. How do I know this? Well, in this flashback scene from Teen Titans East, Dick forgot to shave before he went out superheroing.
Awesome. Kinda weird that it took Batman two Robins to figure out he should probably give them pants. Tim Drake was the lucky one.

I found this image on the Shirtless Superheroes blog. Plenty of beefcake, if that's your taste.

Battle for the Cowl - Review

2009-06-14T18:25:00.000-05:00

Terrible Lex Luthor

2009-05-06T18:24:00.000-05:00

My sister and I found this at Picture is Unrelated and felt the need to share it with you.
I'm sure it's originally from some Superman themed book geared towards helping children learn math or some such. But that doesn't make it any less hilarious. Oh Lex Luthor, how far you've fallen. From Billionare super genius, to cake thief. Now that is terrible.

Link to original posting here.

Boot to the Head

2009-05-05T18:24:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted a comic humor strip in a while, and felt it was high time to remedy that. Today's humorous moment is a frame from Justice League Unlimited #26. Comedic gold.... comedic Booster Gold, that is*

*I am fully aware how completely un-funny that was, but I said it anyway

Superman Birthright

2009-05-01T18:23:00.001-05:00

So, I know I've mentioned Superman Birthright before. But it bears repeating. This is an amazing graphic novel. I highly recommend that you buy it, download it, whatever. Just read it. To be fair, I was a Superman fan before reading it, but I think for you non-fans, it brings a very refreshing look at an iconic hero. This comic succeeds at doing what most Superman comics completely fail at: making Superman a believable character who you can relate to. He isn't an iconic hero whose pretty much an overgrown boy scout and the epitome of all that is good. Rather, he is flawed, fallible, and very human. He is an unsure young man trying to figure out who is is and what his place is in a world where he will always be an alien. He is all this while still being the classic hero we know and love. Really, Superman Birthright is the film that Superman Returns should have been. If they do decide to reboot the Superman franchise with a new movie, I hope the screenplay writers take a good hard look at this comic which in many ways mirrors the story and character arc of Batman Begins. In Superman Birthright the people of Metropolis don't fall in love with Superman instantly; they are suspicious, distrustful, and afraid of him (all of which is encouraged by a very well done Lex Luthor). Even by the end he hasn't completely won them over - rather he's convinced them to give him a chance (with the help of Lois Lane, who'se just as wonderfully snarky as ever). For me, Superman Birthright is the way Superman should be portrayed every time. If each Superman comic had the depth of character that Birthright had, I would read them all rather than shy away for fear of another cardboard, two dimensional boyscout strongman who looks good in blue tights. And I like Superman.

If that doesn't convince you, here are two other reviews of Birthright that I think are well thought out and articulated. I recomend giving them a read as well.

Comic Book Galaxy

Intergalactic Medice Show

Blue Beetle is Bored

2009-04-27T18:22:00.000-05:00

This comedic moment comes from Justice League Unlimited #5. Blue Beetle has been stuck on monitor duty and is really bored. How he decides to pass the time is quite hilarious.

Okay, I'm sorry, but I would NEVER touch Batman's food. Unless, ya know, I had a death wish.
I like the implication that he's already tried on Wonder Woman's costume. Oh Blue Beetle, I'm sure you'd make a fabulous drag queen.

Lancelot Lookalike

2009-04-26T18:21:00.000-05:00

This weeks* humorous comic moment come from Justice League Unlimited #9. In it, the Justice League has gone back in time to help King Arthur fight Morgan LeFay. There is a brief running gag that I find hilarious. So I decided to share it with you all.Say it with me now: awkward! And it comes back again later during the battle.

I have a few more pages from JLU that I find quite hilarious that I just haven't gotten around to posting yet, but rest assured, they will come soon.

*I know I don't update once a week, but "weekly" sounded better than "whenever the f*ck I get around to it"

Emo Batman is Emo & Flash states the obvious

2009-04-07T17:56:00.000-05:00

Two comic gems for you today, both from issues of the Justice League Adventures.

This first one is from Issue #11.

I love how everyone except for Batman is in a heroic pose, and Batman's at the bottom doing a sneaky vampire/villian pose. One of the few times Batman has completely failed at being bad ass.

This one is from Issue #31.
I adore the way they drew the Flash's mouth. It's so perfect for the line and the character. Well done.

The New Batman

2009-03-12T17:53:00.000-05:00

So, I haven't been up to date with the Batman comics (because of the delema, where to start) but I have been wiki-ing, so I know about the most recent plotlines: Batman R.I.P. and the Battle for the Cowl. Once this concludes there will be a new Batman and Robin as introduced in the soon to come out comics, Batman and Robin (click on the link for a brief interview about it). Now, all I have to say is this: I really don't think Batman will be the same without it being Bruce Wayne. Sure, human characters eventually do die, it makes sense. But the character of Batman is so intrinsically tied to Bruce Wayne, I think it would take a real amazing level of storytelling to make Batman work without Bruce Wayne. Even Batman Beyond, which was a great take at a new Batman had Bruce Wayne still in the picture (I think cranky old man Bruce Wayne is my fav. version actually).
That being said, if Dick Grayson isn't the once who becomes Batman (at least until Timmy becomes old enough), I am going to be pissed. Like, for realz. Not that I think Dick Grayson needs to become Batman as a character. I actually like him best as Nightwing, his own man out from under the Bat's shadow and a hero in his own right. The reason I think he should be Batman is that he just deserves it more than any of the other contenders I've heard of (with the exception of Tim Drake, and we'll get to why I don't think that will work ATM in a bit).Dick was the First Robin and the oldest and most constant member of the Bat family. Really, if anyone deserves to take on the title of Batman, it's him. (this is not taking into account him wanting to be Batman... most signs point to him prefering to be away from the shadow of Batman, but he did get angry when BW had Azreal be Batman when Bane broke his back, so who knows.)

And the article I linked above seems to reference a new Robin. Dude, what happened to Tim Drake (wikipedia, which is fairly up to date on the Battle for the Cowl plotlines still has him alive, kicking, and working as Robin? I mean, I suppose he could become the next Batman, but the kid's only 16, so a bit young to be Batman. He and Dick would make an awesome B&R team. But I suppose if there's a new Robin, that could hint at Tim being the next Batman. But really, I would like to see Dick Grayson take up the cowl, just until Tim is really old enough to do it well and believably and then return to being Nightwing and have Tim take up the mantle.

Other theories have been:
Jason Todd - I will kill someone if this annyoing ass, I'm gonna be emo and become a bad guy becomes Batman. He died, and he shoulda stayed dead. Seriously.

Damien al Ghul - I know the kid is Batman's biological son, but really, we have a lot of characters who are far more intrinsically tied to Batman. While the other Robins (esp. Dick Grayson) have been a part of the Batman cannon for waaaay longer and the fans have more emotionally invested in them. I think it would be a bad move to make a relative newcomer to the Bat family take on the mantle. Also ,he's technically a villian.

Catwoman - really? that's all I have to say

Hush - to be fair, I haven't read the comics.... so I have no idea who this is. Apparently he's tried to kill Batman before but was childhood friends of Bruce Waynes. Yea.... considering I've seen pretty much every non-Batman comic incarnation of Batman and never heard of him, I feel (similarly to my argument against Damien) that it would be a bad idea to make him Batman. It would alienate new readers who may have seen the TV show or movies, or just heard about Batman from pop culture (who probably would have heard of DG or TD).

Azrael - He did become Batman when BW broke his back.. but that srsly P.O.ed DG. Also, he's supposedly dead.... so probably not.

So, to sum up, I really like Bruce Wayne, I feel like you can't really have Batman without him. I would honestly prefer if they just got rid of Batman with his death and made Nightwing a bigger character. Maybe have TD Robin help him out. I feel like having anyone else (Esp. since all the contenders already have strong Superhero or Supervillian personas) take on the Bat persona would cheapen and damage the originality and uniqueness to their characters. They all have interesting stories going for them in their current incarnations, and taking on the mantle of the Bat would diminish them becuase they'd be forever living in BW's shadow (moreso than they already are). And while that might be interesting for a while, it would get boring after a while. And while you could have them get out from under BW's shadow in the comics somehow, they would never be able to in the eyes of the fans. Bruce Wayne will always be Batman. period.

Thoughts anyone?

Batman The Brave and The Bold

2009-02-12T17:51:00.000-06:00

If my last rant interested you at all, you can find out more by reading this really awesome blog post entitled:

Sam Register Thinks Your Kids Are Stupid

It explains a lot really. And I share pretty much all of his feelings on the matter.

As soon as I have money I'm going to buy all the Bruce Timm DVDs (Batman the Animated Series, Superman the Animated Series, Justice League, Static Shock and Batman Beyond) just to show these guys that QUALITY animation and story telling sells so much better than the crap they're cranking out now.

Batman The Brave and the Bold. Really? That's what you're following the crap that was The Batman up with? I thought things were supposed to get better with time as we LEARN from our mistakes. Not get worse!

I leave you with this image of the newest WB attempt at Batman.

*shudder*

The Batman - Review

2009-02-11T17:49:00.000-06:00

So, I figured it was high time I watched an episode of The Batman, the latest attempt at a Batman animated TV show. It aired from 2004 to 2008. I'd resisted watching it becuase I'd seen what Batman looked like, and it didn't jive with me. Watching an episode only made it worse.

First of all, let me just visually show you a few of the characters. I'll compare them with Bruce Timm's character design from the earlier Batman the Animated Series (which had amazing character design).

First, Batman himself.

I wish I could find a picture on the web of how they draw him when he walks. His body mass disappears and he becomes an emo vampire - his too long cape extending onto the floor as he glides across the room. Seriously, Batman wouldn't have a cape that long. It really would just get in the way of his martial arts based fighting style. Also, it looks ridiculous. It makes him look like an emo-vampire wannabe. Not bad ass at all.

Here's the Bruce Timm version:

I'm also going to take this moment to show you the facial design of Bruce Wayne. I could only find the The Batman version, so brace yourselves.

He looks ASIAN! WTF!? He looks more like something out of The Jackie Chan Adventures! Not like Bruce muthafuckin Wayne!

[edit: I have since discovered that the character designer for this show was the character designer for the Jackie Chan Adventures. Now it all makes sense. *goes to vomit*]

Moving on, here's how they designed Batgirl:

Honestly, I don't even know what to say other than "shoot me please." I really just can't stand the character design. It doesn't work at all! A little purple dress. Really? Her boss is a billionare playboy in his other life, surely he has a sense of taste and would never let her wear that.

Bruce Timm's Batgirl:

For a change, here are a few villains. Poison Ivy and the Joker:
Poison Ivy looks pre-pubescent (odd of a woman who'se schtick is controlling men with pheramones. And the Joker has DREADLOCKS! DREADLOCKS! I can't even begin to articulate how wrong that is!

Bruce Timm's versions:
Whew! *stops having a heart attack*

So, in terms of character design, this show sucks major balls. I just looks like bad anime fanart that you might find in the recesses of Deviantart or something. The anime style thing worked with the Teen Titans - it was a show with young characters and the overly stylized animation suited the over the top style of the dialogue. And it worked becuase they were all teens, no bad ass brooding adults involved. But they really just failed with The Batman. Batman is just not this kind of anime character. There are anime styles that could have worked (ie. Gotham Knight)... just not this one, really. It has just further reinforced my initial feeling that I don't want my goofy anime and Batman anywhere near each other! Pretty much, this show is summed up by Adam West Batman meets Anime emo/vampire. Even the logo is cheezy! Really..... bleh! They dummed it down for the kiddies, made Batman almost cheerful. (wtf!) Also, Batman starts the Justice League and has to convince Superman to join. SUPERMAN's the loner now!!!???? (and not even in the Smallville 'I'm trying to figure things out' sortof way, but in the surly, 'I don't get along with others' sort of way) Batman at one point complains that Superman's not very talkative when he takes off midway through Batman trying to speak to him. Maybe there was a personality switching ray in an earlier episode... I hope.

God, I don't even know what else to say. I had a much larger rant that I was prepared to write, but really, I think the pictures speak for themselves. The writing isn't much better. It really is an anime version of the Adam West Batman... only more emo-kid. Not dark and mysterious... emo-kid.

I'm going to go watch Batman the Animated Series now and try not to kill myself over how they mutilated the character. Bruce Timm's shows were so good! They got the characters, were entertaining, but had a degree of depth. The Batman is just a load of crap, plain and simple. Especially when compared to what preceeded it. Warner Bros, you had gold with Batman TAS, and now you've given us shit. Well done.

Superman vs KKK

2009-01-20T17:47:00.000-06:00

I learned something really awesome today, Superman helped take down the KKK. The story basically goes like this, a guy named Stetson Kennedy infiltrated the KKK and learned a ton of their passwords, codenames, and hierarchies. He went to the police, but they did jack. So he then took the information to the writers of the raido show Adventures of Superman. They produced a series of episodes where Superman fights and defeats the KKK. The stories were filled with authentic detail. This contributed directly to the fall in popularity of the KKK.

More complete versions of the stories can be found on the World History Blog and the Metroactive Books website (I linked you directly to the articles). Seriously, read them. It's a pretty awesome story. I mean, how often does a comic book superhero get to help defeat real-world villians?

Pretty sweet

Pink Kryptonite

2009-01-19T17:47:00.000-06:00

This is my last "gay superman" post for a while, I swear! I haven't actually read this comic, but desperately want to. I found it on the intarwebs and had to re-post it because it's hilarious! Itcomes from Supergirl (Vol 2) #79. Context from the Wikipedia entry on Kryptonite:

"[Pink Kryptonite is from] an alternate timeline in a 2003 Supergirl storyline by Peter David, this bizarre variety of Kryptonite apparently turned heterosexual Kryptonians temporarily and stereotypically gay; it was seen in just one panel, with Superman giving flattering compliments to Jimmy Olsen about his wardrobe and decorative sense. It spoofs the more "innocent times" of the Silver Age (Lois Lane is depicted in this story as not understanding what's gotten into Superman)."

Just to repeat - Pink Kryptonite turns Superman gay.... wooo hooo! Like I said, I really want to read this story. Lulz! So if you happen to find it, share please?

Queer Heroes - Smallville

2009-01-18T17:45:00.000-06:00

If my last post left you wanting more Clark/Lex action, there's here's another video manip done by the same fan who did the "Worlds Finest" video. Only this time they used the template of the Brokeback Mountain trailer to make a Smallville video. I think it's quite well done, but see for yourself:

Also, I read an interesting article by Jes Battis called "The Kryptonite closet: Silence and queer secrecy in Smallville." If you're a fan of the show and queer theory, I highly recommend it.

Queer Heroes the Animated Edition

2009-01-17T17:43:00.000-06:00

So sorry I've been away for a while, break's been a doozy. But we'll get to that later. First I wanted to show you a little gem I discovered a while back.

So, in 1992, a comic book was published entitled "The Death of Superman." It was a big deal. In it, Superman dies fighting a big baddie named Doomsday. It launched a series of comics dealing with a series of new "Supermen" who came to take the big blue's place after his untimely demise. Ultimately, Supes survives, making many comic book collectors annoyed because they'd purchased the issue feeling it would become a collector's item which the hero's resurrection made moot.

In 2007, this storyline was loosely adapted into an animated film entitled "Superman Doomsday." Within this 75 minute animated adventure occurs the gayest Lex/Superman moment ever. (okay, to be fair, it's a clone of Superman that Lex has made to replace the real, dead Supes, but let's be honest, that makes it even queerer). I desperately wanted to share this moment with you, but was at a loss at how to, seeing as how it was embeded in a feature length film. Then I discovered that someone on Youtube found it as hilarious as I did and had extracted it from the film. I now wish to share this moment with you here:

Wow. It's every Lex/Clark shipper's dream come true. Fangirls and fanfiction writers, eat your heart out. Later in the film, Lex tells the clone that he's been a naughty boy when he rebells against Lex, in addition to telling the real man of steel to "Come to Daddy."

I just can't decide if the writers knew what they were doing!? I mean, it's kind hard not to take that scene sexually. "you are on the naughty list" "who's your daddy"!? Come on! It's obvious that Lex is lusting after Superman and wants a little bdsm action. And at the same time, I can't decide if the writers knew what they were writing into these iconic characters mouths! In my opinion, this goes way beyond Siver Age Seduction of the Innocent.

What do you think?

One fan took it upon themself to tweak the Timmverse (what fans call the Bruce Timm animated shows which include Batman, Superman, The Justice League, and Batman Beyond) to create Superman and Batman slashy goodness. I thought it was cute, even though it's not official, so here you are. Enjoy.

To The MOOOON!

2008-12-22T17:40:00.000-06:00

So, I have more Superman and Batman hilarity for you. This little episode takes place in Superman/Batman #44. It's a bit longer of a joke than the prior two I've posted (this actually takes place before the last one), but is truly worth checking out. I could say more, but honestly, this speaks for itself. Enjoy!

To the MOOOOOOOOOOOON!

Pirate vs. Ninja

2008-12-19T17:39:00.000-06:00

Today's Batman/Superman hilarity will attempt to answer the age old question, is Batman a pirate or a ninja? I know most of you would automatically say "He's a ninja, DUH!" But today's post, which comes from Superman/Batman #44, may make you think twice.

Context: Superman got some kryptonite in the eye (ouch) and has recovered under Alfred's super-surgeon/bulter care. Meanwhile, Batman's off beating up petty criminals, becuase too much time with Superman makes him grumpy. On to the clip!

Now, the real question is... does Batman really have a pirate ship? He is Bruce Wayne, and who knows what kinda crazy random things billionares happen to have. For all we know, his parents could have bought him one when he was small. But regardless of whether or not he has one or not, him making fun of Superman's eyepatch is hilarious.

Alfred Calls Shotgun

2008-12-17T17:37:00.000-06:00

As much as I love Superman and Batman separately, they do their finest work together. Our first amusing moment comes from Superman/Batman #2. Superman and Batman were buried alive! But then Batman exploded them into a sewer, using Superman as a shield. They are now stumbling along the sewer using each other for support (btw Supes has a kryptonite bullet lodged in his chest).

Click on the thumbnail to fullview!

For those interested, I highly recommend the Superman/Batman comics. They're well written, and a different artist does each plotline, which is pretty cool.